New Monster: Savage Turkey

The Savage Turkey looks exactly lge a novelty plastic chicken w/ claws. Big Ones. They are extremely aggressive, and will in fact pick a fight w/ anything. Wile most are ! HD , there are some as high as 4 HD..Each one gets 2 attacks as daggers and hit like a 5 HD monster, ac as chain -1. What is most interesting about them is that they are very easy for a mage to summon and are found in every environment but arctic.

Cheating DM: Puzzles

I often create puzzles that I don't know the answer to. I drag it out until just a HINT of frustration sets in amd then BANG,next good idea from players is the answer! In 37 tears they never caught on to this.

.....about all the ZILLION BLANK comments I post.......

I can't get the DAMN thing to let me "+2" the STUPID thing!!!!!!!!!! sends out blank comment after blank comment.....and I wonder why I haven't been picking up any followers yet LOL #luddite

Crap!!

So THIS is actually post 200! Sigh. So I guess in addtion to being a luddite my math skills are very challenged. Just pretend the last one was 200. PLEASE! LOL, I can't believe I screwed this up ,LOL

Book Review: Songs of the Dying Earth

This is a fantastic and HUGE collection of short stories celebrating(and imitating) the Dying Earth series by Jack Vance(poss known to gamer's as the source of the memorization spell system of D&D) The variess big name authors of the stories do a fantastic job of imitating Vance's very unusual style. Except of course for Neil Giaman's close to the book which very arrogantly makes no attempt at channeling Vance. If you love Vance ,this is a must have. NOTE: Vance's style is a VERY peculiar take on wizarding and I would recommend getting a sample before you buy.

Movie Review: The Raven

My fav of The 60s AIP "Poe" movies.Vincent Price, Peter Laurie, Boris Karloff and I believe in his movie debut Jack Nickleson. As to the "Poe" aspect to it, well it DOES have a raven in it. This is truly a guilty pleasure for me, ok I know it's crap but it's fun crap.Price, Laurie and Karloff are all wizards and the story is about The conflict for wizardly domination. It ends with a laughably low budget dual between Price and Karloff,pure wonderful low budget cheese! This one is def for the B movie buffs, a must for any who call themselves thus. Just so bad in a B good way!

Rude Surprise

I had the pleasure of playing a google game on hangouts. I only played 1 game of 1e,played a 6th L MU.

Wow do low level MUs suck in early D&D!!!!!
I spent almost 20 years making peep run L 1-5th wiz's!!! No wonder no one wanted to play MUs!!!!

I CAN"T BELIEVE I WAS THAT IGNORANT, THAT LONG!

I can't follow my own advice

So in one of my rants I complained about the huge number of OSR rules and advised, Don't write rules, write great adventures. As I said earlier I was switching to Crypts and THings, I'm still doing that but as much as I want to use the RAW, I tinker. And I tinker. And I tinker. I've got allmost as many houserules as the core of the book. Now I'm working on 4 new character classes and adding fighter kits.

What is it with we DMs?

Why do we Houserule switch systems and spend way too much time on such. Our time could def be better spent on world building, new monster, new spells etc. Really even new spells is a waste.
Yet we tinker and tinker, almost kike it's compleatly imbeded in DMing.

I can't follow my own advice!!!!!!!!!

A Very Cool Idea For Modern games

( I got some real good writing done on my project and I got so many BONUS hits yesterday, I'm rewarding myself with some blogging!)

I was a total FAILURE as a supers DM(I will go into more detail about that in the future) but I came up with a very cool game idea that I had NEVER heard of anyone doing.

The backdrop was this: The group was telegraphed by the bad guys(Hydra) that they were going to burn down the Wayne Charity Hospital in the worst part of town and kill everyone in it.(A huge gang war was going on) The Gotham police had been terrorized into not showing up. The media was invited. A few brave cops showed up and some of the security staff and dr's were also there to help. In the middle of the fight
the players IRL cell phones started to go off. I had arranged with several people to make in character phone calls from 7pm to 8 PM and played them for laughs. A drunk girl friend called and wanted to go dancing., a telemarketer or three called, One characters dad called and complained that he was not coming to dinner with his parents enuf and the char was spending too much money on his super gadgets. Cousin Shaniqua called and needed a date to a wedding. It was a RIOT! Can't recommend this idea enuf!!!!!

My WEIRDEST TPK

Two man 1st L party going into my dungeon, Fighter and MU I believe. Almost immediately they are met by 4 hp, short sword armed skeleton. Very, Very, Very long fight ends in TPK. We quit for the night. Also the shortest session I ever ran about 30 min.

New Irem: Guardian Teddy Bear

This 3 foot tall pleasant looking Teddy is highly magical. It talks and has a overly cheerful disposition.it is capable of combat (around the combat stats of a goblin) At lunch time it will make tea and a large amount of small tasty pastries. At bed time it will tell bedtime stories and stand watch faithfully during the night.
4/ a day it can cure scratches and ouchies (d4+1). It's main drawback is that it is addictive. It's owner will eventually always tuck it under their arm and carry it every where as it tells stories and entertains it's owner.
Sort of a very pleasant straw golem.

DM Rant Seven: My Pet PEEVES at The Table!!!!!!!

Both are dice related.

1) STOP ROLLING THE DICE IN YOUR HAND!!!!!!!!
I can't stand it when players shake and shake their dice in their hand!
JUST ROLL THE DAMN DICE!!!!!!!!
(If they are describing what they are doing in an RP way, that's FINE, but to shake and shake saying"C'mon Daddy needs a 20!" I just want to strangle them)

2) WORST OF ALL: ROLL THE DICE ON THE DAMN TABLE!!!!!!!!!!!
Really, how hard is this? You are doing something a 4 year old can do right!
It got so bad at one point, I made a house rule that dice off the table= lowest poss roll!
DON"T ROLL THE DICE TOWARD YOURSELF!!!!! This is ASKING to throw them off the table!

Cool Encounter #4 AH AH E E TOOKY TOOKY

Ok dead of night in heavily foliage area. Your party is dead tired from a long day of travel in the wilderness. Suddenly the stillness is broken by a horrendous parrot cry: AH AH E E TOOKY TOOKY.
The party scrambles into the dark night as the elusive Tooky bird screams and screams. after an exhaustive night fight, the bird is blown up. Mated pair. Can anybody get any sleep!!

New Creature: Dragon Mouthed Duck

Other than the fact that it is TERRIFYING to see in flight(looks exactly like a dragon in flight), it is a normal duck

What little TV I watch

I watch exactly TWO TV shows. I let my wife(who I adore) watch whatever she wants while I put on my sleep apnea mask and tickle her back. Even when I "watch" my shows, I am still only listening.

My fav is Big Bang Theory. I've seen every ep many,many times. It's hysterical and heart warming, true escape from the cares of my life.

A close second is Ancient Aliens, I see it as good sci fi, with a hint of some cool historical anomalies. Some eps make me laugh out loud. The hosts are kooky and cool. My DVR is over run by eps I save and savour. I strongly suggest you watch it with a chuckle.
(BTW My take on the Ancient Alien Hypothesis is that the weird historical crap they point out on the show are left over from a couple of very old, possibly very highly advanced ,civilizations we have no historical record of.)

Sex, Orgasim and Pregnancy in Gaming

I lied......I'm wondering how many of you are repeat viewers, if I'm reading the stats on my blog right its not many.......please +1 this post if you have looked at blog more than once, Its not necessary to follow just trying to get an idea at this early stage(actually I'm a big prude and keep sex at PG level) also I PROMISE, no more tricks! (Fingers crossed behind back ;) )